The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
