and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
