oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
