D3 body, D1 cock
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize