I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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