I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize