i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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