My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
