the condom got lost in my hair
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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