Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
