haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
