I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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