Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
