We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
