My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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