"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
