I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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