I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
