Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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