I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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