hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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