Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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