I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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