oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I smell stomach acid.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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