You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
