He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize