Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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