pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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