it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
