He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
