you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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