I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
