he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I looked at my own cervix.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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