I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize