it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
