Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
