Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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