sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
