did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize