Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
