So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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