I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
