If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
