Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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