He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
