that's an acceptable place to lick
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
