He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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