Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
