You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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