i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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