making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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