Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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