How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
