At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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