Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
