i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think I just sharted jello shots
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