WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Randomize
