i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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