Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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