When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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