I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
