What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
