i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
