So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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