They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16